Tribute to John Locke- Spoiler Warning !

(500) Days of Summer

Anyone who tells you that (500) Days of Summer is a romcom might be an "evil, emotionless, miserable human being" or a "robot." (Romantic comedies have rules, we're not in 'Nam...am I wrong?). We are told in the first few minutes by the narrator that we should be warned that this is no love story, yet I was a sucker and ignored the warning. This resulted in an emotionally draining and painful movie experience in which any experienced adult will relive at least one horrifyingly painful memory of the ghosts of relationships past. I wish I could say I hated this movie and that it was horrible. I can't. It's really good storytelling in the spirit of "Eternal Sunshine", which I absolutely loved. Everything about the movie was great...except how it made me feel at the end. Unfortunatley, a movie is ultimately judged on how it leaves me not on how it got me there.

Marty Fist Pump for the Oscars.

Although I was disappointed in this years show, I must dedicate a Marty the Landlord fist pump to the Oscars. Here are a few tips for next years show.

1. NPH is obviously next years host. Billy is not coming back. Time to let go and move on.
   
2. Ditch the dancing and bring back the Best Songs. Some of Oscar's best moments have been these performances. Don't need to look farther than The Swell Season and "falling slowly."
3. Time for the movie montages to go. Once you've resorted to a tribute to horror movies it's time to retire the bit. Also, I threw up a little in my mouth when they included "Twilight" as a horror movie.
   
4. Spread the love. Was one camera dedicated to Clooney? I'm guessing there was plenty of man candy in that room.
5. If you are going to include Dom Deluise then you better include Bea Arthur.
   
6. Last of all. Learn something from the Globes. Booze = Better Speeches.

Speaking of speeches....

my movies that really tied the 00's together

I've been mulling over someway to sum up my favorite movies from the last decade and I think I finally came up with the right criteria. In order to make my list I had to have seen the movie twice in the theater and ended up buying it for the home collection. This broke my heart in a way because it excluded a handfull of movies I fell in love with only having rented it. The two most notable that would have certainly been on the list were "Moulin Rouge" (2001) and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (2004). It probably speaks volumes that my top 2 are from the year 2000. Here's to hoping the teens rebound from the decade of yawn.

10. "Walk The Line" (2005)
Obsession. Addiction. Redemption. The true testament of this bio pic is that if you take out all the musical numbers, the movie still stands on its own with its dynamic performances and story that relies on the characters not the music. Plus, I have a sizable man crush on Johnny Cash.

-

Luther- "That boy Elvis sure talks a lot of poon."

9. "Juno" (2007)

Movies about teenagers tend to come off fraudulent or purely for laughs. I love "Juno" because it recaptures the spirit of John Hughes with its wit and heart.
-
Juno- "Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, 'Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment."

8. "Casino Royale" (2006)

When I saw "Power of One" in 1992 I told everyone about this guy who played a Africana nazi youth with Paul Newman eyes and proclaimed this guy is going to be a movie star! Well, I was right. It just took 15 years for it to come true. Craig resurrected Bond from the depths of Denise Richards and her Christmas Jones and finally gave fans of Connery something to yearn for.
-

Bond-" The job's done and the bitch is dead."

7. "Chicago" (2002)
The reason I loved "Moulin Rouge" was its surreal and over the top productions and sudden bursts into song. The reason I loved "Chicago" was the opposite way it transitioned into song by exposing the inner thoughts of the characters.

-

Billy Flynn- "Cut out God. Stay where you're better acquainted."

6. "No Country for Old Men" (2007)

After "The Ladykillers", I desperately wanted the Coen brothers to return to their roots circa "Blood Simple" and restore my faith in all that is Coen. My wishes and dreams were fullfilled with "No Country."

-

Ed Tom Bell- "Alright. What we circulate? Lookin' for a man who has recently drunk milk?"

5. "The Departed" (2006)

Does anyone do this genre any better than Scorcese? Anyone? No. Also, De Niro who?

-

Dignam-

" My theory on Feds is that they're like mushrooms, feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark."

4. "300" (2007)

Beautiful. Violent. Masculine. Awesome.
-
Leonidas- "Haven't you noticed? We've been sharing our culture with you all morning."

3. "The Dark Knight" (2008)

The story of man who uses fear and chaos to bring forth his sense of justice to the world around him. Does this describe the Dark Knight, The Joker, or Bush-Cheney? Proof that a blockbuster Hollywood movie can be smart, political, and bad ass entertainment.

-

Alfred-"And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn't fully understand."

2. "Gladiator" (2000)

If I was ever invited into the cockpit of a 747 by the pilot and asked, "Davey, do you like gladiator movies?" I would proudly say I do.
-

Gracchus-"He will bring them death, and they will love him for it."

1. "Memento" (2000)

I think by far my favorite movie of the decade. I love small movies that think big, take chances, and make you think you have it all figured out and at the last minute punch you right in the weiner. Your thinking "how could I not see that coming!" What I remember most about seeing it the second time in the theater is how funny the movie actually is.

Mark It! "24" jumps the shark (again)

I'm thinking jumping the shark needs to be replaced with Cougar Trapped. I'm convinced the once entirely human Jack Bauer is now a robot. Proof? He never has to pee or drop a deuce. Last nights episode involving a stabbing, Road House knife throw, and miraculous bandaging may have pushed me over the cliff. Probably not far enough because sure enough I'll be sitting there waiting for the beep...beep...beep next week. For the first time I am hoping this is the last season.

Strikes & Gutters: "Crazy Heart" movie review

Every year there is a movie where a performance transcends the plot. "Crazy Heart" reminds me of "There Will Be Blood." It didn't matter to me what the beginning, middle, and end was. All I was concerned with was not taking my eyes off of Daniel Day Lewis. It's the same here with Bridges as Bad Blake, a broken down alcoholic country music songwriter, who finds inspiration to turn his life around after falling for a single mother who interviews him for a Sante Fe newspaper. On the surface this seems to be a must see for only a handful of people, namely fans of Bridges and real country music fans of Hank and Cash. Boil it down and this movie is about relationships. I think that is something everyone can find a connection to.

• Look for the not so subtle Lebowski references in the opening 30 minutes. Bad's first gig is in a bowling alley and ends up fishing his sunglasses out of a circular receptacle.

Strikes & Gutters: "Adventureland" movie review

Set in 1987, "Adventureland" follows the exploits of a recent college grad virgin who is forced to take a summer job at a local amusement park after his parents refuse to pay for grad school. There are a handful of moments that satisfy and most of them involve SNL's Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig. This movie is further proof that Kristen Stewart's Whisper Acting most be catching on, because nearly all of the actors delivered their lines as if they needed a nap, which is how I felt about halfway through. Instead of picking an audience to speak to it tries to go after both generation X and Y. This movie falls short for both.

You're killing your father Larry: Remake of "True Grit"

I'm honestly conflicted about the Coen brothers remake of "True Grit" The good news is that Jeff Bridges will get to play with the brothers again reportedly portraying Rooster Cogburn. Bad news is that their last attempt at a remake ended up giving us "The Ladykillers." Here's to hoping that they can bring new life to the western.

Met a stranger in the alps: Vikings vs Saints

A couple of thoughts on the Vikings vs Saints.

• What screams classy more than FOX using the national anthem to pimp, I mean plug American Idol? I would have loved to be in on that meeting. Harry Connick Jr, no thanks. Neville Brothers, we'll pass. I know. Kris Allen!
• The NFL OT Rules. A shame that one of the best games all year is essentially decided by a coin toss. It's like a baseball game going into extra innings and only one team gets to bat.
  
• Joe Buck. He calls a football game like he took six Ambien and a hot bath right before kickoff.
  
• Brett Farve. Is it me or did the dramatic limp smell of Curt Schillings "bloody sock."
  

That creep can roll: Neil Daimond

Neil Daimond turns 69 today. Daimond is the Jeff Bridges of the music world. Under appreciated and often forgotten by the so called experts, all he has done is sold over 100 million records, written hit songs, and sold out every venue he has found worthy of setting foot in. How is it that ZZ Top, The Bee Gees, and The Talking Heads are enshrined in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but The Daimond is not? I guess Bill Murray put it perfectly in "What About Bob" when he said that there are two kinds of people in this world, those who love Neil Daimond and those who hate him. I'm not ashamed to yell out that I love Neil Daimond, sequins and all.

Happy Birthday Neil.

"Songs are life in 80 words or less."
Neil Daimond

Strikes & Gutters: "Paranormal Activity"

"Paranormal Activity" is everything "Blair Witch" was suppose to be and wasn't. For one it won't give you motion sickness. I have a feeling that like "Blair Witch" this is a love it or hate it movie. Some will be turned off by the slow build using still tableau framing, simple effects, or in its best moments the perfect use of the absence of sound. This movie is a welcome vacation from the torture porn horror films that have dominated the landscape these past several years such as the "Saw" series . Torture porn fans will most likely hate this movie, but I for one loved it for the very thing that those fans detest, and that is its simplicity. This is the anti-Avatar. This is the anti-Saw. I suggest you rent it, turn the lights off, and open a bottle of wine because if you let it, this movie can remind you of how a scary movie can mess with your mind without all the gore and the sorority screaming.

I am hopeful that this will be a much cheaper than therapy.